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Friday, September 24th, 2004
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| Time: | 12:13 am. |
| Mood: |  loved. | | Music: | Tick Tick.. |
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Well, today was a pretty good day. Just got off the phone with Eddie a couple minutes ago. I was with him all day. hehe. After school I picked him up and we went to Walmart to get a mattress thing for when we go camping Saturday then we went to McDonald's, where Eddie bought me food. Except he made fun of me for getting a kids meal. lol. Then we came back to my house. Played Zoids for a bit. He was being real sweet to me. Kept giving me kisses and holding me and hugging me and stuff like that. lol Started doing whatever but then phones kept ringing and I almost forgot to pick up Kasia. [HeHe. Sorry Kasia] So I went to pick up Kasia and took her to work then came back home. Watched Eddie play Zoids for a bit more. Then we had to clean up because my family was coming over for my sister's birthday. Blah blah.
At around 4 I fell asleep on the couch. And at 5 I woke up to Eddie jumping on top of me yelling "Giddy-up". lolol. It hurt. Then I tried to go back to sleep but he pulled me off the couch then he pulled me to stand up and tried to blow me over because I couldn't stand straight. It was pretty funny. lol. Then let's see. More Zoids. lol. Family came. Ate dinner. Then at like 8:30 me and Eddie left. Drove around for a little then went to his house.
Started watching Bruce Almighty. Then 0=). LoL. I'm such a good girl. HaHa. Uh..Then at like 10:30 I guess we played a little DDR. Then I left at a little after 11. It was so cute. He walked me out to my car and told me to be careful and call him when I got home. So I did. And we talked until about 12 when he made me get off the phone because he says I have to sleep because I have school tomorrow. I know he's right. I'm exhausted right now. But I'm talking to people so sleep will have to wait some.
Last thing. Certain individuals have taken a disliking in me, just because I'm friends with Eddie or something and they want to be with him blah blah. I don't know. And they say some interesting shit. At first, I got kind of pissed. I didn't do anything so they shouldn't be starting trouble. But now, say what you want because you know what I realized tonight? Even if he goes and hooks up with other people, he doesn't have feelings for them. I don't care if he hooks up with them. Because I'm the one he always comes back to. lol. And we do plenty more than hook up. =X So, I have no reason to be jealous. It's not like I'm just sitting my ass at home when he's out so let him have his fun. I know he loves me. This is what I've wanted since like only a couple months after we started going out. But only Brittany knows about it. =/ I guess I got too carried away to realize I finally got what I wanted. But, everything's alright now.
<3 Jess
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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
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| Time: | 11:00 pm. |
| Mood: |  tired. |
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Well, I'm not really in the mood to update but I will real quick. Today was alright. After school I called Eddie like he told me to yesterday. Woke him up. lol. So I let him go back to sleep and I went to sleep to. Then he called me at 2 and woke me up because I told him I would drive him to gymnastics. Did that, then picked him Danny, then drove Kasia to work. Came home. Went to tutoring. Eddie called me at tutoring. LoL. Rob got mad. That was funny. Then Eddie called me again at like 5:30 because he was going to the mall with Billy and told me to go to his house. So I did, then we went to the mall. Blah blah. Billy dropped me and Eddie off at his house. I got my car, then me and Eddie went to Toys R Us, where he bought more cars. On the way home, we had a nice little talk about some stuff that should have been talked about a while ago. Then we parked in some parking lot and talked some more, then in front of his house and talked even more. It was a really nice talk. I understand some stuff a lot better now. I also found out some stuff that I really didn't want to know but it's okay. We're okay now. The only thing I have to worry about now is his moving in like 2 weeks. =/ But we're going camping this weekend so i'll get to spend some time with him. It should be nice.
<3 Jess
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Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
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| Time: | 9:30 pm. |
| Mood: | tired. |
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Eddie's home!! =D He called me yesterday to tell me that then text me 4th period when he got home. So after I got out of school, I went and picked him up and he came over for a little while. We played Zoids. I got my ass kicked. lol. Then later I hung out with Kasia for some. Not too much happened today. I was supposed to go drop something off at Eddie's house later when he gets home from Billy's but he just called and said that he probably won't be home until almost 10 and I have school tomorrow so I shouldn't go out that late. That I need my rest. I told him it was okay, it wasn't that late. But he insisted that I stay home so I can get enough sleep for school tomorrow. He was so sweet. hehe. Well, I have a lot of shit to do during the next two weeks so I'm off to start. lol.
<3 Jess
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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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| Time: | 8:45 pm. |
| Mood: |  anxious. |
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Well, what have I been up to for the past few days? Let's see. Monday was a half day of school. I don't really remember. lol. Tuesday, uhh.. I don't remember Tuesday either. Wednesday, Eddie texts me at 7 in the morning so I was talking to him in school all day, so it wasn't that bad. Used a hell of a lot of texts though. After school, I picked him up then we went to his house to play his new Zoids game that he just got at the mall that day. LoL. I kicked his ass. Well, half of the time. Then I took him to gymnastics. Blah blah. Went to sleep. At like 9 I picked him up again and took him to Sharky's to get his hot wings. Then we game home. And I don't know. He was acting weird. Like we were in the hallway, walking towards each other. And he gives me this smile then kisses my cheek and gives me a big hug then gives me this really cute smile again. And all night he kept giving me little kisses and putting his arm around me and stuff. Then we were in my room and he pulled me towards him and kissed me and we started like making out lol. But I pulled away and asked how come he wouldn't kiss me for days now all of a sudden he's kissing me again. He said because he wants to. I was just gonna leave it at that but then he said he really shouldn't be because he's leaving and all but he wants to. Then he kissed me again lol. Then whatever. He was being all sweet again. Cat scratched me and he gave me a kiss on it to make it better lol. Eddie fell asleep at like 11:30.
Next day, we woke up at like 12. Went on the computer looking for more Zoids. lol. Played some more video games. Went into my room. Did whatever. But Kimmy kept coming in. But whatever. Hotdogs. HaHaHa. Went back onto the computer. Had a nice little convo about how "it was good." LoL. Eddie comes out with the most random things sometimes. And also about how he wasn't just using me for ass, how he could have went to anyone but he went to me. I don't know. lol. Whatever. Played video games all day with Eddie, Danny, and Freddy. Bought gamecube. Dropped Eddie off at like 10. Said good- bye because he's going to Florida for a few days. =(
Friday, Eddie called at like 5 in the morning and woke me up before he left. Went to school. Boring. Had some tests. Whatever. Eddie called me again after school at like 12:15. Talked for some. Then a couple more times that day, like from the gas station in Georgia. lol.
Saturday, Eddie text me at 7:30 in the morning then called me at 9:30 in the morning. Woke me up both times. Didn't do much. Just cleaned all day. =/ And had Boston Market for dinner. Talked to Eddie until about 1 in the morning, watching SNL. Hehe
Sunday, was supposed to go out with Kasia but we had nowhere to go. LoL. So I got stuck watching my sister all day. And talking to Eddie. Nothing really of interest. But whatever. I have a lot of thinking to do. So I'm off to do it I guess.
<3 Jess
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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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| Time: | 8:24 pm. |
| Mood: |  sick. | | Music: | Kasia talking.. |
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Well, this weekend was alright. Friday night Billy picked me up then me, Eddie, Christine, and Billy hung out for a little. Didn't do much. Just went to Game Stop then up to the mall for some. But it was fun. Saturday we were supposed to go to the movies but Eddie couldn't-long story. So instead Kasia came over and we hung out with Sharbel. Haven't hung out with him in way over a year. lol. We just walked around, went to QuickCheck, then my house and the park. It was pretty fun I guess. Then I dropped Sharbel off at 11 and picked up Eddie. He wouldn't eat so I had to make him. Chinese food. lol. Then we watched Zoids then we went to sleep.
It was so cute this morning when I woke up- Eddie was all curled up under a towel because he didn't have a cover. LoL. He was so adorable. So I had to go get my cover and cover him. hehe. Then after he woke up, we went on the computer for some, looking at more Zoids. He made fun of me because there is this clock next to the computer that just ticks really loudly. And it was right next to me and I tried to ignore it but I couldn't, so i finally just threw it across the room. So Eddie started laughing hysterically and when I tried to explain he only laughed harder. lol.
Then we watched Mighty Ducks 3. After that we played YuGiOh. I lost. =/ But that's ok. I'll get him next time. I wasn't feeling well so he had an unfair advantage. LoL. We had a nice little talk about things with us. So, I'm alright now. Then I drove him home at like 4 and came home slept then did homework and now here I am.
<3 Jess
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Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:50 pm. |
| Mood: |  hungry. | | Music: | Kasia talking. |
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Well, once again not too much. Wednesday Eddie was over for a little. We watched Zoids. Got into a fight. lol. Whatever. Thursday, first day of school. Not as bad as a thought. Got a bunch of people in my classes. Then after school, I picked up Eddie. Went to my house, ate, watched Zoids, then I took him to gymnastics. Friday, school. Eddie stopped by for a few minutes. Took my stinky doggy to NJPet to wash her. Now she's all clean!! This dude there kept checking me out. It was rather amusing. Then I came home, went to sleep. I was supposed to go out somewhere with Kasia but I just passed out. Around 10:30 Eddie stopped over for a little. Blah blah.
Saturday morning Eddie called me at like 12 and woke me up. Told me to get ready because he was picking me up in a little to go to Billy's party. First I heard of this. LoL. So I jump into the shower then Eddie comes over. So I hurry up and get ready while he feeds his lizards. Then we go to Billy's, watch 40 days and 40 nights. Then Eddie was hungry so we went to Troops to get him a roast beef sandwich. And he actually let me drive. Which is cool because he said he wasn't going to ever let anyone drive his car, not even Billy. I'm just good like that. lol. =D After that me and Eddie looked at Zoids on the computer. lol. Eddie went to sleep. Ergin came so I went back upstairs with him. Watched part of some movie. Blah blah. Me and Eddie went to Outer Limits but it was closed so we went to the arcade in Passaic for like an hour. Then we were supposed to pick up his friend from work so we drove around for like 30 minutes waiting for her. When she finally came out her mom was there so we just left. Went back to Billy's and then to this carnival in Lodi. We got back to Billy's at a little before ten. Eddie went to take me home but I can be very..*persuasive* 0=). So we went and parked down some street and whatever. LoL. Blah Blah. Then he drove me home at I dunno. 11 something. It was fun.
God I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything since lunch on Thursday. And barely drank anything. I don't know what's wrong with me. =/ Oh well. I'll figure something out.
<3 Jess
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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
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| Time: | 1:29 am. |
| Mood: |  content. | | Music: | Birdies. |
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Well, not too much has been going on. Thursday night, Eddie left because me parents want me getting ready for school and all that. Friday night he called me at like 12 and told me he was coming over. He was acting kind of funny when he came over. Like extra sweet. I don't know. Then Saturday, he came over again. Slept over.
Sunday we went to the Renaissance Fair. That was fun. I was supposed to go with Eddie last year but everytime we were supposed to go, it like rained real bad. So we finally went this year. He had a lot of fun. LoL. With the guards trying to hit him and splashing water on him and spitting it on Danny. And the Sheriff telling me I was half naked. Twice. LoL. I bought Eddie a lizard there. A little green anole. It's Eddie's first pet. He is so happy when he holds him and stuff. I'm glad I was able to be the person to get him his first pet. To be able to make him so happy.
Then Monday, we went to the pet store and bought him another one. And I promised him I would buy him another pet before he leaves. Found out he was with Stephanie on Friday night, when he said he was with his cousins. He claims she just happened to be there but whatever. I don't know. Then, when he was over again, he was talking to her on IM on his phone. Claimed he was in a bad mood and taking his frustration out on her. Whatever. I don't know anymore. ::sigh::
Then today, we picked Eddie up from CHS at 12, then he came over. We went to sleep until like 4, after playing with his anoles for some. Then after we woke up, we ate rice-a-roni and macaroni and cheese. Then I got into a big fight with my parents because of my little sister. Blah blah. Eddie left because he had to give something to his sister. Around 7, I went and picked him up then we went to the mall and I got some clothes. hehe. =D
Not too much else going on. Except Brittany's little friends keep calling me. I mean, seriously, I haven't been up there in like 3 months. If they seriously have nothing better to do, then whatever. LoL. Just get over it already. Hehe. Oh yeah. And I got new DC sneakers. =D
Off to school on Thursday. That should be.."fun". LoL. But atleast I get out at 12. But then I have to work all day. But that's alright. Save my money so when I leave I'll be alright. =/
<3 Jess
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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
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| Time: | 10:42 pm. |
| Mood: |  depressed. |
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Well, not much to say. Since my last update, Eddie has stayed the night literally every night. Well except one. But that night we both stayed over at Billy's. I don't really remember what else. Mall. Hung out with Kasia some. And Tricia. Went with Eddie to see Yugioh. Twice. Blah blah. It was nice. He was sweet. =D
<3 Jess
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Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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| Time: | 2:02 am. |
| Mood: | hungry. | | Music: | Paul and Jay IMing me LoL. |
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I GOT MY LICENSE!! WOOHOO!! =D Except my parents won't let me drive because I don't have a car and they won't let me take theirs because they need them. So it's kind of pointless to have a license but oh well. LoL.
So since my last update..Eddie was supposed to come back on my birthday but he went to his sister's and couldn't get a ride. He knew I was upset but whatever. Then at like 1:30 am I was sitting in my room reading and my phone rings. It was Eddie. He goes "Open your front door" then hangs up. So I open the door and he hands me this nice stereo and says "happy birthday" and gives me a kiss. =) Then he says he has to go because..and points over his shoulder. I look and see that he took his car out. And that is bad for many reasons such as his mom didn't know he had it, he smelled like alcohol so if he ever got pulled over, he doesn't have insurance on the car, and he doesn't even have his license. But he took it just to give me my present. =D
Then Sunday, Eddie came over at like 3 and Kasia picked us up and we went to the mall. Eddie came over afterwards and stayed for the night. We stayed up watching Freddy got Fingered and 2 Jackie Chan movies.
Monday morning we woke up blah blah. Eddie left at like 12 to go to the arcade. I went to take my drivers test. Passed!! =) Then uh.. I went to the mall and got my eyebrows done. Came home. Tricia called. She came over. And right as she pulled up Eddie called because he got me food [Peruvian. =D Yummy!!]. So we picked him up. Then we came home and I ate. Me and Tricia went to the park and talked for a while. Then she had to leave so me and Eddie watched Drunken Master again and he stayed the night again. But this time he stole my bed.
Tuesday we woke up. Blah blah. Eddie went with my siblings to my brothers pool to swim. I went out with Tricia. Whatever whatever. Came back home. Eddie was over. Then he went with Billy. And just as me and Tricia were supposed to go out with Paul, Eddie came back. He got pissed because he hates Paul. But I went anyways. Came back at like 10. Went to Wendy's with Eddie. Came home. Watched That 70's Show. I didnt feel good so Eddie was all sweet to me. He kept calling me "my precious". He gave me a really good massage. =D Went to sleep. Eddie slept over again. For the 3rd night in a row.
Wednesday we went to the Sussex County Farm and Horse Show. My family and Eddie. It was fun. Eddie said "I love you" to me. I mean, it's not that big of a deal because he's said it before but today was the first time he said it first in almost 2 months. =D Then blah blah. Ate. Went on rides. Got hit on by some Mexican who wanted to check out my ass as I climbed the rock wall. Got home from that at like 8 something. Watched Freddy got Fingered with Eddie. Again. LoL. He called me his baby tonight. Last time I checked, he said I wasn't. That nobody was but his sister. He got hungry so I was going to go cook him something but I was tired and he knew it. So he was like no, don't worry about it. But I said I take care of my Eddie. But he said no, that I was more important than him. He kept telling me just to sit and relax but I went and made it for him anyways. Then he said "I love you" to me again. =D Then I got a foot rub. Hehe. Later he was playing with his sword and I was sitting holding a pillow and he asked if I was scared. I said no, that I trust him. He came and gave me a kiss and said "Good because I would never hurt you." He was going to leave at like 12 and I was like ok. But he got all mad at me that I didn't try to stop him. That I was just going to let him go. But when I do try to stop him he gets mad. So I figured just let him go tonight; he's tired. But that didn't work either. =/ So he stayed a little longer and whatever. Then he went home at like 2am. And now I'm here, talking to Paul about what we're doing tomorrow. If we do anything because I don't know if I can.
::Sigh:: Eddie's being so sweet and nice lately. He keeps just holding me, cuddling with me. And he keeps just giving me random, little kisses, like on my forehead or cheek when we're watching t.v. or by the computer or something. =D He hasn't been like this in months. Since like I don't know. A long time. Hope it's not too good to be true or too good to last or something. =/ Guess only time will tell, no matter how corny that sounds. Whatever. But God I love him.
<3 Jess
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Saturday, August 7th, 2004
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!
I'm finally 17!!! YAY!! =D lol. So my day: My family, Eddie and I went out to Applebee's for lunch. And they made them sing to me. It was so embarrassing! They announced to the whole place that it was my birthday and shit. Eddie got a big kick out of it though. =/ Then we came home and I opened presents. Blah blah. I watched Bring It On with my sister then ate dinner. Tricia came over at like I don't rememeber. We went to the park and talked for a while because I haven't seen her all week. Then Kasia came and she needed to get her pictures printed from her digital camera so we went to 3 different places but the machines at all the places were broken. So then Tricia had to go home so here I am.
Since my last update, I think I've seen Eddie everyday. He slept over last night, in the bathtub. LMAO! Because the new kitten is in the bathroom because we can't put him with the other cats yet and when the kitten is alone he goes crazy so Eddie felt bad and so he slept in the bathtub to keep him company. Weird but cute. But that's how Eddie is. I don't know how many times this week he has called me, asked what I was doing, then been like "Okay, I'm coming over.", then like hanging up and coming to my house 10 minutes later. LoL. I don't mind though. And like yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, I'm not sure, he got all annoyed when I was talking to Paul online and wouldn't let me. He kept like closing the IM and putting my away message on and stuff. Because he hates Paul. I don't know. Then he slept over Wednesday night. We stayed up until like I don't know. Watched Double Team and something else. I don't remember. I'm gonna miss this when he's gone. =(
I'm kinda upset because Sean IMed me the other day and I haven't talked to him in forever. But I was away so I didn't get to talk to him and he signed off literally one minute before I came back. =(
Well, I'm off...to do something. I haven't figured out what yet. Probably gonna go pack up some more stuff in my room. I never realized how much crap I had. =/
<3 Jess
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Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  calm. | | Music: | The Simpsons. |
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Well, not much happened. Been hanging out with Eddie almost everyday. Hung out with Tricia a couple of times. And Kasia. And met up with Mark at the mall once. [Thanks again for the present, Mark. lol.]
Yesterday, Eddie made me watch House of a 1000 Corpses and Cabin Fever. They weren't scary but they were really disgusting. And he made me watch Rocky IV the other day, too. I hate those movies. lol.
Hm..What else did I do? Friday, Brian picked up me and Eddie and we went to 6 Brothers with Dave, Bobby, Kim and Ali (?). We had some interesting conversations. lol. Then Mike, Chris and Leah came. Blah blah. The rest of the night was pretty fun, even though it didn't help me rest my knee like I'm supposed to be doing. LoL.
One of my ex's just imed me out of nowhere. Haven't talked to him in over a year. Pretty interesting. LoL. Hm..I think I should go and call Dave now. So byebye.
<3 Jess
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Thursday, July 29th, 2004
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| Time: | 1:59 am. |
| Mood: | calm. | | Music: | My new little kitty purring. |
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Got a new kitty today. Adorable little thing and so friendly and affectionate. He'll just sit on your shoulder or fall asleep on your lap. But he's very stinky. LoL. And right now he won't sit still. He's crawling all over my back and neck and shoulders and he just jumped onto the keyboard. LoL. But anyways...
Sunday night around 11 Eddie came over. We watched the whole first season of Chappelle's Show. I didn't think I was going to like it but it was actually pretty funny. hehe. Then we beat each other up. I think he won because I am covered with bruises. LoL. Then we talked for a while and he didn't leave until about 5:45 Monday morning. LoL. =D
OMG! This cat is a nuisance. I can't let him just wonder around because my other cats hate him and god knows what they will do to him and if I keep him locked in my room he meows like crazy because he doens't like to be alone. So I'm trying to type and hold him at the same time but he won't quit squirming.
Hm..Then Tuesday night, well I guess it was technically Wedbesday morning, at 2 am Eddie came over again and slept over. We talked for a little then went to sleep. Blah blah. Woke up. Blah blah. He stayed until uhh.. 2 in the afternoon maybe? I don't know. Lots of shit happened. Not bad stuff though.
Now I am very hyper. I was going to go to sleep a while ago but couldn't fall asleep. Hm..So I guess that is it for now.
<3 Jess
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UGH!!!! So I went to Eddie's tonight. At like 12:45 until like 3. My mom wasn't too happy about me going that late but oh well. Tonight was the first time I saw him in like a month. ::sigh:: All I have to say is ...
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Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
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Wow. I am in such a better mood tonight than I was the other night. And I really don't know why. Today was no different than usual. I woke up at 9 because I had a 10:15 doctor's appointment for my knees. Finally. Blah blah bullshit. Then I came home, ate lunch, went to sleep for a while. Then Tricia picked me up at 7 and we went to Wendy's then picked Kasia up from work. Blah blah. Mall. ["Don't walk so fast. You make me wobble." LMFAO!!] Mike. Lmao. Driving. Wendy's again. Mike again. With the cowboy hate. Lmfao! Blah blah. I had sex with Jay. [Just kidding, Kasia. That was last night. =D ]
Got home at like 12 and called Dave. Stayed on the phone with him until 3. Lmao. Best conversation I have had in a very long time. Found out some interesting stuff about when he was up here last summer. But the best part of the convo-well I don't think I should put it here because I don't know who reads this. But he knows what I am talking about. I think. LoLoL. Simply amazing. Just like me! Lol. Sorry. These Cali people make me conceited. Hm.. What else. Oh yeah. Dave read me a note that he wrote when he was here. Omg. It was sooo sweet. =D!! It just put a big smile on my face. I feel bad though because I didn't say anything when he was done reading it because I didn't know what to say. Then he said something else and I started cracking up about the stupidest thing. But I guess he understands. He knows how I am. LoLoL. I don't know. I love talking to Dave. He puts me in such a good mood.
Yesterday wasn't too bad either. I hung out with Tricia and Paul and we went to some cafe in Morristown. Lmao. That was an interesting experience, to say the least. Then whatever and we picked up Kasia from Jay's house. LoL. Kasia and her stupid theory. Which was so close to being true. But it wasn't. HaHa. Kasia- PENIS! hehe. And I don't think Paul appreciated being harassed. But that's ok. He knows we love him. HaHa.
Well, it is 3:20 in the morning about, so I am going to get some food. Because Paul wouldn't bring me any. lol. =/
<3 Jess
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| Time: | 1:24 am. |
| Mood: |  frustrated. |
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I hate the way that I am suddenly all emo.
I hate the way people walk all over me.
I hate the way I actually let them.I never used to let people get away with shit like that.
I hate New Jersey.
I hate the way that no one can be trusted.
I hate the way that everyone stabs you in the back or betrays you.
I hate all the shit talking.
I hate people being two- faced.
I hate hypocrites.
I hate liars.
I hate the way that I fucked up with Chris. Jim over Chris. What the fuck was I thinking? I mean there is nothing wrong with Jim at all but ::sigh:: long story.
I hate the way that Cihan moved back to California.
I hate the way that Eddie is moving to Florida.
I hate how I still have one more year of high school left. How I wish I could just go away to college already and be done with this crap hole.
I hate the way that everyone has changed.
I hate how no one is reliable.
I hate how my parents always fight.
I hate how I can never sleep at night.
I hate that, when I do sleep, I have dreams about Eddie. Sleep used to be my one escape from that. But not anymore.
I hate how I can't get Eddie out of my head.
I hate how I always cry.
I hate how I'm never happy.
I hate my life.
Any questions?
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livingxaxdream's journal
confused.
happy.